The other evening, it was witching hour, and my three kids were…
…hyped.
We had just spent the past hour playing in the backyard. Tag, hide-and-seek, and drawing a never-ending hopscotch grid with chalk on the warm cement. But then, a cool ocean fog rolled in, cutting short our outside time. My husband stayed outside to pick up the toys, while I ushered the children into the house. At that time of day, everyone’s on their last legs, myself included. In the frenzied minutes between afternoon play and evening routine, here are some of the sentences that came out of my mouth:
Emiliano, we don’t spit in this house!
Oh, Ella, honey, people might not like it if you tell them they will die forever.
Yes, you can stand on my back. Just no jumping.
Please don’t lick the baby.
At that time, all my attention was focused on playing and explaining why we don’t cover babies with saliva. But later that night, when the kids were tucked into bed, I started laughing.
Since becoming a parent five years ago, I’ve had many moments of laughter and joy — some, I expected: Marveling at my babies’ sweet profiles. Or introducing them to solids — watching them delight in perfectly ripe strawberries and creamy Greek yogurt. I even anticipated some of the harder moments, such as cleaning diaper blowouts, managing overtired toddlers, and trusting others to care for my kids just as much as I do. And of course, I expected to laugh at the funny phrases and questions they came up with.
But what I did not expect was all the off-the-wall phrases that parenting would draw out of my own mouth.
How about you? What funny things have you said to the kids in your life?
P.S. How to teach your kids to chat during dinner and parenting in 10 words or fewer.
(Photo by Tara Romasanta Photography/Stocksy.)
