As a mom to three children in very different life stages (infant, toddler, and kindergartner), I’m always looking for tips on raising big families. I can’t stop thinking about the advice from poet Kate Baer, mother of four…

“Find the equalizers,” she told me. “My kids are a wide span of ages, from high school all the way down to first grade. This means we are limited in what we can all enjoy doing together. A few things on the list that work for everyone? Playing games (Frank’s Zoo, Up & Down the River, Skip-Bo), riding bikes, watching movies, kayaking, and shark-tooth hunting.”

Now, when we’re hanging out in the backyard, deciding how to fill the hours until dinner time, I think: Find the equalizers.

On Friday evenings, when the kids are bathed and we’re snuggled on the couch deciding on a movie: Find the equalizers.

Weekend mornings, when Max and I are lying in bed planning the day, whispering so we don’t wake the children: Find the equalizers.

After months of mentally noting which activities are equalizers and which are not (I’m looking at you, Frisbee), here’s what works for our whole crew:

– Hunting for acorns in the backyard and on hikes.
– Taking walks around the block to admire Halloween decorations.
– Visiting our 70-something neighbor and raiding his freezer for popsicles.
– Baking chocolate chip cookies (Evelynn participates by eating chocolate chips in her high chair).
– Watching Toy Story 5 (my kids love a sequel).

Nothing’s better than seeing all three kids content together. Thank you for the advice, Kate!

Playing at baby-friendly parks is another crowdpleaser.

How do you help your children get along and bond with one another? What are your family’s equalizers? I’d love to hear your insights.

P.S. Five ways to ease sibling rivalry and what’s your child’s bedtime routine?